Long Time, No Blog

So, I guess it’s been a while since I last posted here.  This doesn’t bode well for the next few months since I have just started back to work teaching as of yesterday.  More on that later…

Since my last post about K’s Birth Day we celebrated her turning one.  I made these:

K wore this and looked super adorable:

My mom came to visit for about 5 days and we went on a few outings.  We went to Elbow Falls and played in the rocky water’s edge and had a yummy picnic.  As well, we went to Reader’s Rock Garden here in Calgary and walked around enjoying the beautiful grounds and had lunch. 

I love when my mom visits!  R totally gets in to the novelty of having another adult in the house who is somewhat wrapped around her little finger!  R wants ‘gwamma’ to do everything – brush her teeth, put on her PJ’s, read all the books, play all the games and do all the puzzles.  It sure gave me a break before this crazy week of back to work!  Grandma D really is the bomb.  I love houseguests that you don’t have to impress!  I am lucky to have a mother and a mother-in-law like that.  I do a house clean just to be a good hostess before they come, not because I think they are going to judge me.  They help with the kids and chores and it makes for a lovely visit.  Please come back!  Mom?  L?  Are you reading this?  Come BAAAAACK!!!! 

So.  Back to work.  It sucks.  I have the girls at a day home.  The provider is a lovely woman who looked after R for 8 months when I went back to work last time when R was 1 and I was alrerady preggers with K!  This lady is lovely, warm, strict and less than 5 minutes from my house.  In other words:  Perfect.  Still, I can’t help but shake the feeling that I didn’t have kids for someone else to raise them.  When school really gets going next week the girls will be with her most days from about 7 am to about 4 or 4:30 every day.  I might get to see them for a few hours in the evening for baths, fights at dinner (FML) and maybe a late evening trip to the park but not likely.  R was always a ‘late to bed’ girl but K sure isn’t.  7:30 is pushing it so I really have to get my cuddles in before she freaks out and needs her bed!  My heart is breaking a little each day and I am going to have to get used to this new reality we have in store for us.  I am scared for the state of my house (I give it two weeks until we are living in a shambles and need an intervention)  and the state of my kids!  And my heart!

I feel passionately about my job.  I love teaching and I have a great teaching partner this year.  There are many reasons for me to be happy about going back to work.  A dual income household will be a nice change!  Blah blah blah.  Nothing compares to being the one to see your kids reach new milestones instead of having your lovely day home woman tell you about them.  Moulding other peoples’ kids all day and having no energy to do the same for my own precious babies just doesn’t seem like an appropriate payoff. 

Sorry to be such a downer…  Maybe all you other working moms out there can shed some light on this one.  How do you juggle it all?  Pills?  Booze?  Hired help? 

I’ll update again on this soon…  I think I can do it.  I think I can I think I can I think I can……

2 thoughts on “Long Time, No Blog

  1. Michelle says:

    Hey K! I know the feeling…all of us working moms do but it doesn’t make it easier. I don’t know the answer but try to count your blessings. I leave the house with A at 6:25 and drop her at the daycare at 6:50, pick her up around 4:45-5:00, and she’s in bed at 7:30…not much time for her and never enough time to do what I need at work besides teach. I keep getting told it gets easier so I’m hanging onto that though not sure when or how it will happen. :). What time did R go to bed (your late to bed kid) at 2 1/2? A has always had a 7-7:30 bed but has been getting up at 4:15-4:30am for 6+ weeks now, only getting 9-9 1/2 hrs sleep but not sure if she needs a later bedtime since no matter what we can’t get her to sleep later all of a sudden. Makes for a long day for mommy (and daddy) who has to teach 27 second graders all day! Sigh. This will get better….you can do it and so can I! Right?!?!

    1. Oh Jeez! 4:45? That sucks! I found R woke up earlier once daylight savings hit and she was up with the first glimmer of sunrise as the summer wore on. She still was late to bed all through summer. When I was at work all last year when I was pregnant (I guess that was 2 years ago…) she was in bed by 8 or 8:30 and this summer it was often after 9. I am already exhausted from having two little kids at home and having worked three days. Without students! Blah! You can absolutely do it. You are one of the most organized people I know.

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